How Colbert Lost “Naming Rights” for South Carolina Primary

by
December 26, 2011

Stephen Colbert writes about how his Super PAC tried to buy the “naming rights” for the South Carolina Republican primary if a non-binding referendum would also allow voters to choose between two statements: “Corporations are people” or “Only people are people.”

“The GOP agreed to everything. The referendum was immediately requested, approved by the election commission, and even printed on sample and military absentee ballots. I had counted all of my chickens and was just waiting for them to hatch. Then the unthinkable happened — the activist judges of the S.C. Supreme Court ruled that the counties, not the GOP, would be responsible for funding the primary. And, in what I can only see as a personal attack on corporate persons, they ruled that all non-binding referenda be struck from the ballot.”

“The S.C. Republican Party no longer needed my $400,000, but being Southern gentlemen, they graciously offered to still want it. They would sell me the naming rights, if instead of giving my cash to the counties, I handed it directly to the party. I asked in return that they petition the court to get the referendum back on the ballot. They said no. I offered less money, $200,000, since I was getting only half of our original agreement. They said no.”

 

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